Be an Effective Parent

October 24th, 2012

by Katrina Brooke

We see it all the time. Parents lessen their effectiveness, to a large extent, when they tell children what to do. Why is that? Because parents cannot:

a.  Ensure that the child does it.

b.  Provide effective consequences for refusal to do it.

So, it’s often better not to run around telling children what to do. That often invites rebellion. There are good Love and Logic alternatives:

Give an enforceable statement: “Right now I am expecting (hoping, thinking) that you’ll choose to….”

Imply something: Take out a little notebook and start writing. Mutter softly to yourself, “This is something I really need to remember.”

State your response as a fact, not a threat: “When we get home you will be able to put some energy back into my system because you are certainly draining it now.” (Make sure you follow through with the chore and bask in the energy rays that rain down on you as your child mops the kitchen floor or whatever.)

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