Use “I Messages”

October 24th, 2011

by Katrina Brooke

When talking with other adults or with your children “I” messages are a positive way to communicate your thoughts and feelings.  “I” messages are statements of fact about the speaker.  The speaker can tell others how their behavior is making  the speaker feel.  Since young children frequently do not know how their behavior can affect other people, “I” messages are much better learning tools than “You” messages when children misbehavior or you need to talk to an adult about their actions.

“I-Message” I need help picking up now.       “You-Message” You sure made a mess.

“I-Message”   I don’t feel like reading a story when I’m tired.        “You-Message”  You’re a pest.

“I-Message”  I sure get upset when I see mud on the floor.          “You-Message”  You ought to be ashamed.

“I-Message”  I can’t hear you with all that screaming.         “You-Message”  You better shut up!

“I-Message”  I don’t understand.         “You-Message”  You are not telling me so I can understand you.

“I-Messages” give children the responsibility for changing their own behavior.  For example, if the adult says, “I see a little bit of dirt on your face,” then the child has the responsibility to so something about the dirt. (Giving them information, no direction.)   MORE at: http://www.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/publications/22-649.pdf

Director’s Note:

When communicating with others about how you feel you will find they will empathize with you and help you find a solution to a problem.  When you use “You-Messages” people often feel attacked and go on the defensive.  It then takes longer to get to the problem solving step.

If you need to have the assistance of another person to solve a problem a good way to start is “I feel”, “because”, “I want”.

Katrina Brooke Director at The Shyne School.


Comments Closed

About The Shyne School
 
facebook
Message Board
Coming Events

AUGUST 2019

29 CLOSED Teacher Work Day
30 to Sept 6th Summer Break,  Only and Plus students on Break, care for Full Day Students
Download the Annual Calendar 2019 2020

September 2019

2 Labor Day CLOSED
3-6 Summer Break  for

Read more
Important Information

 The Shyne School is open Monday to Friday, 7:00 AM to 6:00 PM, Regular Hours.

We are happy to be engaging Tri Landscape & Design Inc {(206) 953-0722} for landscaping and  for the next snow storms removal.

If …

Read more
Tour Our School

We are currently full and will only offer tours for classrooms with openings until Open Tours in  January & February 2020 when we begin enrollment for the following summer and fall.

Tours are offered Monday to Friday at 9:30 or …

Read more