The Basics of the Love and Logic Approach
February 1st, 2012
by Katrina Brooke
With a flexible menu of skills in our approach, and common sense at work, adults using Love and Logic skills may come across quite differently at times. Nevertheless, the “Love and Logic” approach should always look like the following:
- A loving attitude toward the young person. A key principle of the Love and Logic approach is that we preserve the dignity – of the child AND the adult. Does yelling and threatening preserve kids’ dignity? How about ours?
- Shared thinking and control. Adults using Love and Logic techniques resist the urge to come up with all the answers and solve all the problems. Instead, they give kids the gift of thinking about and solving problems. They ask lots of questions and give lots of choices so kids stay in on the action.
- Empathy before consequences and bad news. We are sad for kids and we hurt for them when they struggle. Our sadness (instead of our anger and frustration) helps them own problems and learn from the consequences. None of this works without empathy.
- Relationships are paramount. If we are not preserving or enhancing relationships, we are not really using Love and Logic techniques.
Take heart! This is a process, not an instant transformation. Many people find that listening repeatedly to our audio, Four Steps to Responsibility
, helps them remember to consistently apply these very important basics of the Love and Logic approach.
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