July 16th, 2013
by Katrina Brooke
What’s the very most important Love and Logic skill? EMPATHY!
Understanding why is fairly simple. Consequences delivered with empathy create responsibility. Consequences delivered without empathy create resentment.
So we have a choice: Will we raise responsible kids…or resentful ones?
Yes. Understanding why empathy is the most important skill is simple. Empathy preserves the relationship and makes it very hard for our kids to blame us for their poor decisions.
Really using sincere empathy…on a consistent basis…is the hard part!
We’ve spent over two decades studying people who’ve been successful with this. What do they have in common? They use just one empathetic statement…regardless of what consequence they must provide.
That’s right. They keep it simple!
They also pick one that fits their personality and culture. Some folks always precede consequences with, “That is so sad.” Others prefer, “Oh, man…”
Some parents say, “What a bummer.” Others prefer, “Bless your heart.”
Try writing down your empathetic statement and taping it on the bathroom mirror as a reminder.
Learn more about empathetic statements in The Love and Logic Tenth Anniversary Journal Collection. Read the article in Chapter 8 titled: Love and Logic “One-liners.” This book is packed full of stories and solutions that parents and educators will find entertaining and helpful.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Dr. Charles Fay